I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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