I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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