he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
