Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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