started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
