well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize