just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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