first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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