i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
