i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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