Texts From Last Night

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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I only kidnapped one of them. chill

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  (205): I only kidnapped one of them. chill http://tfl.nu/ogw5
  Replies (10) Good night (2975) Bad night (688)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"

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  (706): i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!" http://tfl.nu/rg7b
  Replies (164) Good night (1776) Bad night (3352)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.

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  (775): Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk. (504): Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera. http://tfl.nu/hakn
  Replies (196) Good night (2051) Bad night (16756)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.

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  (512): She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe. http://tfl.nu/piri
  Replies (27) Good night (934) Bad night (3044)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet

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  (918): eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet http://tfl.nu/8959
  Replies (7) Good night (552) Bad night (4014)
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  (356): View more from

  her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..

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  (356): her boobs were like sundried tomatoes.. http://tfl.nu/wyr4
  Replies (31) Good night (558) Bad night (8740)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?

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  (709): so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much? http://tfl.nu/jwju
  Replies (23) Good night (7186) Bad night (1019)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps

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  (904): i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps http://tfl.nu/x84f
  Replies (85) Good night (6314) Bad night (517)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party

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  (978): i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party http://tfl.nu/osnp
  Replies (23) Good night (7343) Bad night (1155)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.

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  (816): My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis. http://tfl.nu/3uql
  Replies (10) Good night (5921) Bad night (825)
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  (209): View more from California

  He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.

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  (209): He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding. http://tfl.nu/0fze
  Replies (7) Good night (487) Bad night (968)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.

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  (207): I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me. http://tfl.nu/zr5q
  Replies (9) Good night (1419) Bad night (475)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.

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  (734): I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued. http://tfl.nu/8osh
  Replies (8) Good night (1077) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.

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  (202): Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way. http://tfl.nu/t0k2
  Replies (8) Good night (309) Bad night (1524)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.

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  (508): Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance. http://tfl.nu/togo
  Replies (0) Good night (371) Bad night (500)

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