Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.

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  (816): You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses. http://tfl.nu/7wdn
  Replies (50) Good night (953) Bad night (4316)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys

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  (570): I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys http://tfl.nu/u1dh
  Replies (21) Good night (1252) Bad night (3583)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.

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  (618): My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has. http://tfl.nu/36lp
  Replies (11) Good night (6749) Bad night (1624)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?

  (607): View more from New York

  Nevermind, it's in the dryer.

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  (607): Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head? (607): Nevermind, it's in the dryer. http://tfl.nu/r8jx
  Replies (6) Good night (3382) Bad night (854)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.

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  (860): She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused. http://tfl.nu/7uxa
  Replies (12) Good night (3318) Bad night (1088)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.

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  (647): Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again. http://tfl.nu/40qc
  Replies (5) Good night (481) Bad night (1292)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before

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  (480): I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before http://tfl.nu/7hf6
  Replies (12) Good night (805) Bad night (1546)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.

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  (910): Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain. http://tfl.nu/bmw5
  Replies (10) Good night (2023) Bad night (702)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP

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  (780): Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP http://tfl.nu/n1dg
  Replies (0) Good night (710) Bad night (494)
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  (562): View more from California

  New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips

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  (562): New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips http://tfl.nu/8ne3
  Replies (2) Good night (652) Bad night (343)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  That is awesome that you did that.

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  (508): I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity (1-508): That is awesome that you did that. http://tfl.nu/1wsl
  Replies (12) Good night (1546) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.

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  (571): In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades. http://tfl.nu/v1fc
  Replies (18) Good night (1137) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?

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  (902): Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that? http://tfl.nu/n34x
  Replies (0) Good night (438) Bad night (497)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.

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  (205): I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is. http://tfl.nu/i5kl
  Replies (5) Good night (551) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow

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  (612): I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow http://tfl.nu/y8rx
  Replies (2) Good night (370) Bad night (360)

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