Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.

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(207): There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever. http://tfl.nu/jepg

Replies (8) Good night (3081) Bad night (465)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?

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(248): I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob? http://tfl.nu/efyh

Replies (44) Good night (806) Bad night (3432)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA

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(250): I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA http://tfl.nu/zqva

Replies (38) Good night (6200) Bad night (720)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.

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(908): did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp. http://tfl.nu/a6do

Replies (41) Good night (21231) Bad night (1123)
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(619): View more from California

She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something

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(619): She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something http://tfl.nu/p4oj

Replies (31) Good night (925) Bad night (7346)
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(323): View more from California

Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.

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(323): Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups. http://tfl.nu/guyb

Replies (7) Good night (3777) Bad night (1023)
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(416): View more from Toronto

i flashed his best friends last night

(1-416): View more from Toronto

you always were good at making good first impressions

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(416): i flashed his best friends last night (1-416): you always were good at making good first impressions http://tfl.nu/b564

Replies (10) Good night (3809) Bad night (1393)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.

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(843): i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding. http://tfl.nu/yb0x

Replies (15) Good night (1286) Bad night (3384)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.

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(201): she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said. http://tfl.nu/ngdj

Replies (9) Good night (618) Bad night (2920)
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(+61): View more from Australia

You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.

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(+61): You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes. http://tfl.nu/b96e

Replies (2) Good night (2051) Bad night (900)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

I don't understand but I'll be there in 5

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(860): Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt? (1-860): I don't understand but I'll be there in 5 http://tfl.nu/rms0

Replies (7) Good night (3321) Bad night (682)
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(480): View more from Arizona

He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out

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(480): He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out http://tfl.nu/x67i

Replies (2) Good night (1900) Bad night (683)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.

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(815): Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa. http://tfl.nu/kz18

Replies (3) Good night (1876) Bad night (555)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.

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(601): You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass. http://tfl.nu/96n6

Replies (7) Good night (2276) Bad night (418)
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(702): View more from Nevada

The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.

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(702): The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me. http://tfl.nu/ddqk

Replies (3) Good night (293) Bad night (810)

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