nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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