Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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