he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
