I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
