i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
