he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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