dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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