I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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