He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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