Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
