actually, I'm a sock model
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
