Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
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Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
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She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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