she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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