he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize