you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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