I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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