everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
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I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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