The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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