if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
operation harelip BJ is a go
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
