Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
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dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
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You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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