LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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