question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
