Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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