She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he thought i was a dude.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
