i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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