I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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