You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
