I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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