my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
