we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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