Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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