Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
