i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
