i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
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So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize