Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
