I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
