The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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