I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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