I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
