so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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