i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize