420 ftw
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
