If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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