paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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