when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Duck Duck Cougar?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
