i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Welp...herpes.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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