I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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