I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
