problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
