I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
this boner is exhausting
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
