In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize